YOU FEEL SHAME…
By Michael Cangemi

"It's bigger than us or
larger than we bargained
I guess it's just not done..." 

  — The Tragically Hip, "Titanic Terrarium" 

Welcome to the newest addition to the Booster Club newsletter! Before we get to the mirth-making and, er...uniqueness...that this is going to be, I'd like to take a second and give a big thanks to Dave for the column space and the chance to write. As some of you may know, I published my first novel late last year, and Dave was gracious enough to lend me some space to write while I am getting ideas together for my next project. Now that you know who to blame for this, let's get on to the fun stuff... 

I wasn't exactly sure what to write about for my first column. The season hasn't started yet (we're three short days away from the preseason as of this writing) and we don't exactly have a definite team to speak of at the moment, so I can't really talk about what I expect from this year's club (although I expect a lot of wins, a long playoff run and lots of good times, but I say that every year) or talk about the road trips and everything else that goes along with a hockey season. Late August/early September really is a dead time in the hockey world, and I kept racking my brain to find something, anything to write about. After a few days of walking around with that same glazed over look Private Pyle had in the "This is My Rifle" scene in Full Metal Jacket, I realized one of my favorite times of the hockey year had arrived. 

EA Sports released their NHL 08 video game. 

Now, for those of you who might not know, EA Sports' NHL series is the Rolls Royce of hockey video games. Granted, there aren't a lot of competitors for that title, but that's a whole other story altogether. Anyway, EA's NHL series has been something of a personal tradition for me, going all the back to the early 1990s, when I was in junior high. The series has fallen on some harder times in recent years, marked by something of a decline in quality over the last few editions. EA seemed to have lost a step, and for me, the only thing that kept me buying every year was habit — I just kept giving them my money for what increasingly seemed like no good reason. That, couple with the fact that I'm actually an adult now and have responsibilities like a mortgage and a real job, I was all set to sit this year out for only the second time in fifteen years. Then, I read about this year's newest feature, and I changed my mind. For the first time, EA included AHL players and teams in the game. 

Well. 

I freely admit that this changed things. What had been an unenthusiastic ambivalence suddenly changed into curious anticipation, almost immediately. I can't overstate the brilliance on EA's part for this idea. For as far back as I care to remember, I'd played seasons as my beloved Toronto Maple Leafs, leading them to more Stanley Cups than I have fingers. As fun as that was every year (especially considering that we're working on year number 41 without a Cup now...yeah! Go Leafs Go!) it got pretty boring a few years ago. The series was in desperate need of something fresh and innovative to revive interest; they introduced European leagues into the game three or four years back, but that wasn't quite enough. Finally adding AHL clubs, however...now that's money right there.  

Now, for the game itself. There are some flaws with the product; that much was evident from the start. A couple of the game's features, such as the ability to make trades and sign free agents, are not available in the AHL mode. This, for me, is horrible, especially when taking into consideration the next big flaw, which we'll get to in a minute. Every year, the ability to pull off a big trade or swindle the computer in an egregiously lopsided deal is one of the highlights of the game. The lack of any inherent logic in previous games was one of its charms. In fact, I can still remember being able to trade a then 847-year-old Wendel Clark to the Flyers in exchange for Hart Trophy Era Eric Lindros, back when 88 was just his jersey number, not the number of concussions he'd had.  

This happened over ten years ago, yet I still remember it like it happened yesterday. Did I mention that I will be turning 30 next year? Yeah, I'm not sure how I got my fiancée either. She is a very understanding and patient woman. 

(The other great thing about that lack of logic in older games was the ability to randomly injure guys. Running Doug Houda into the boards and putting him on the shelf for four months with a "ruptured scrotum" in NHL 2000 still stands as one of the most unintentionally funny things ever, for many reasons. Actually, I might have said too much there. Let's move on...) 

The other big problem I have with the game is its lack of a sensible roster for the Crunch. For starters, the Crunch have eight or nine defensemen on their roster, and not enough forwards to roll four lines. In addition, the absence of Zenon Konopka is something of a head-scratcher for me, especially when you consider that Curtis Glencross is present and accounted for. That, coupled with everyone else that is and isn't on the roster, makes me wonder exactly how EA put these rosters together. It's almost as if someone thumbed through a copy of The Hockey News one morning and just typed the first two dozen names listed on each team's stats page. Fortunately, this can be fixed, which we'll get to in a minute. 

All of that being said, there are still plenty of positives about the game that make it worth buying. As always, it looks fantastic — EA's gimmick is making a visually beautiful product, and they didn't disappoint this year. Changing the game's format a DVD rather than a CD allows for a lot more room for the little details, and the change is apparent from the start. The Reebok brand gear is impeccably detailed, right down to the skates and sticks, helmets fly off on big hits and most importantly, guys actually look like the guys they're supposed to look like. For a company that prides itself on realism and authenticity, this is key. 

The other big positive in this year's game is the realism of the gameplay. One of the things that drove me away from the series in the past few years was the ridiculous physics and unrealistic play. Racking up a dozen goals on seventy shots in a game gets pretty boring after a while. I like offense as much as the next guy, and Mats Sundin may be my favorite player in the world, but there's something very wrong when Video Mats closes out a season with 156 goals. Fortunately, EA seems to have agreed with this line of thinking, as this year's game is pretty close to realistic when it comes to this. I've played about ten games so far, and it's far more common to see scores of 3-1 and 4-2 than it is to see 9-0 or 13-6. Full marks to EA for addressing this problem.  

One of the nice things about the lousy efforts that EA gave us in the early part of the decade was that it gave players the opportunity to modify the game and create their own fixes for problems. Given that the game was published on DVD this year for the PC, I was curious if previous mods and add-ons would still work. Happily, they do. Using a program called Player Editor, the user is able to shift guys around in the game to any team in any league. Considering the lousy roster job EA gave us with the game out of the box, this tool is valuable. In fact, it pretty much washes out everything negative I said about the rosters, since we have a way to "fix" it.  

Finally, the big question...is it fun? The answer is a definite yes. The improvements that EA made, coupled with the ability to play as our hometown club more than make us for the shortcomings the game has. It's telling that I've had the game this long and I've yet to play as my Leafs, instead focusing solely on the Crunch. For a guy with a Maple Leafs tattoo, that says a lot. The game is loaded with great and fun features, looks like a million bucks and plays as close to the real thing as they've offered in years. If you're a casual fan of video hockey or looking for a good birthday/holiday gift for someone who is, NHL 08 is definitely worth the price tag of $39.99. 

That's it for this time. I'm not exactly sure what direction this column is going to take. More than likely, it will probably be a little bit of this and a little bit of that, but certainly Crunch and hockey related. Any comments, questions or ideas are welcome at joakimlindstromhasskills@gmail.com .